Saturday, October 8, 2011

Fallout 3 and Puppy Love

Fallout 3
System: Xbox 360
Developer: Bethesda Game Studios
NA Release: October 2008

I'm standing in a puddle next to an undetonated nuclear warhead, letting irradiated water seep into my boots, and I have to wonder: just how far am I willing to go to please a woman?

That Moira Brown at Craterside Supply; I have to admit she's kind of a cutey. She's always ready with a kindly word in that folksy, Midwestern “don'tcha know” dialect that some small part of me finds a turn-on although I'd absolutely deny that in a court of law. And when she said she was writing a book? Literary type! Be still my heart!

Oh, Moria. What pillow talk we could have.

So when she asked for some help with her survival guide, I naturally said yes. Sharing pursuits is an instant foundation for a healthy relationship.

Then she told me to go out and contract radiation poisoning. I told her committing to such an act was ridiculous, but she pleaded that it wasn't and promised she would fix me up right away if I managed to stagger back to her in time. I guess a post-apocalyptic future negates the possibility of getting a simple homecooked meal as a reward.

But as I stand here waiting, watching my radiation levels slowly rise, I began to wonder if it's all worth it. I mean, I know I'm starting to get up there in years and the potential spouse pool is shrinking, but is a nice woman worth this much? I would very much like to continue the family name, but should I cast aside my self-integrity and risk passing on extra limbs and antennae to my kids merely for the chance?

But this is how devotion is proven, right? Men say they'd be willing to risk their lives for those they love, but you never know for sure until the moment arises. This is just removing all doubt right off the bat! Yes. I'll crawl back and pass out in front of her door. If she leaves me to decay, it was never meant to be; but if she takes me in, it'll be a scene worthy of any of those old romantic films!

I mean, this has to be my in. What else could she possibly ask me to do; walk through a minefield?

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